A Frustrating Day

The only word to describe today is frustrating.  Jess was up very early with a toothache and after she was feeling better from tylenol, I went back to bed and overslept.  I joined Debbie and Jessie for breakfast, only we were about an hour behind.  My french toast was soggie.  We went to the post office where I got a letter from Social Security double checking on Jessie's disability to see if it's changed any.  Last time I knew, once Down Syndrome, always Down Syndrome.  I guess I'll have to remind them.  Again!

We went to Jessie's psychiatrist today where we were early, she was late and took someone else before us.  We waited almost an hour before we were seen for about 15 minutes.  We've put Jess on some anti anxiety medication.  Please pray that this will greatly help her. 

We went to Kohl's bra shopping.  Thanks to Debbie, she got a few that we thought Jess could wear, only she wouldn't cooperate at all in trying them on.  That was it for me.  Bra shopping done for today.  At check out for a small flag I bought for $5.00, Jess was hanging all over me and I about lost it.  I sent her to the van with Debbie and I ended up yelling at the cashier about some bras that I had taken the tags off to try them on.  Of course, I apologized, and she said it was OK.  "No", I said, "it's not OK for me to yell at you because I'm having a bad day with my daughter."  AHHHHHHHHH!

When we got home I went upstairs to eat lunch and do some paperwork, which is still on the desk.  I decided to rest but just as I was about to sit down, I was needed outside.  By the time I got done, it was time for Debbie to go and I had to stay downstairs with Jess. 

The psychologist had to cancel for tonight, and he also told me that his authorization to continue with Jess ended May 31.  Man - what else could go wrong today?

Dinner.  That's what.  Jess and I had 2 left over hot dogs and I attempted to make box macaroni and cheese in my new Tupperware pasta maker.  It was a disaster - it turned out like GLUE!  We just had a bigger bowl of ice cream.

Like I said ... F R U S T R A T I N G !!!

Happy 22nd Birthday, Jessie!

We had one happy girl today, that's for sure.  It began with me singing her Happy Birthday and having her breakfast on the deck.  She and Debbie went to Meijer's (didn't do well there, tho) and bought items for her party on Saturday.  They drove through McDonald's for a kid's meal then had a fun afternoon of videos and magazines.  Jon and I took her to Wendy's for her chicken nugget dinner.  Chris joined us  and I bought a tiny cake (I do mean tiny) to eat with their ice cream and we sang her Happy Birthday there, too.  When we got home she opened presents from Jon and me.  Yup, one happy girl.


Jon and I left at 9:05 and returned at 4:00 p.m.  Here's what we did:

*   Just after we left I was about to take a drink from my water bottle when Jon simultaneously said: "Bump!"  Too late - it was all over my face, shirt and pants.  Not a good start for me, but we did laugh about it.

*   Got to 24 Mile and Schoenherr and I noticed a back up on 24 Mile Road - closer look as we drove by was what looked like a 10 car pile up.  Not a good day for those people. 

*   Doctor's appointment for Jon - all went well.

*   To Macomb County Mental Health Division near the county jail to file our once-a-year guardianship up-date papers only to find out they had moved to the court house in Mt. Clemens.  Instructions on the door told us that there was 3 parking spots in front of the building for the Probate Court - Special Needs Division.  I know because I told Jon I read the paragraph and that's what it said.  So, I parked there.  Only I neglected to read the next sentence which states you need a "Notice of Hearing" sticker to park there.  The cop who wrote the ticket for Jon's Jeep parked in this special needs spot obviously knew the last sentence.  I had to pay a $25.00 parking ticket to Mt. Clemens.  Please don't laugh too loud. 

*   We then went to Lincoln Memorial to pick out a headstone for Bill.  Doing this was a very hard thing to do and makes it feel more permanent, so to speak.  To see his name and dates on a piece of stone is, well, just hard.  We were there for almost an hour and I wanted not to have to go back.  I wanted to get it over and done with today.  Not.  Have to go back several more times.  Oh, well.

*   I treated Jon to a very nice and fancy lunch at Sa-Jo's on 15 Mile and Moravian.  Good stuff.

*   Best Buy for Jon to get a DVD that just came out.  Sam's Club to get Jessie's cake for Saturday.

*   Walgreen's, Bank and Post Office.

Oh, yes, here is a good way to end today's blog:  after we came home from Wendy's Jess sat down on the floor, took her shirt off, removed her bra, put her shirt back on, raised her arms in the air and yelled:  "Thank you, Jesus!"  (Oh, to be free!  I do believe this is echoed around the world by millions of women.)
 

So Tired

I know that I've mentioned that since Bill passed away, Jessie has been very tired.  She takes naps quite often which isn't a normal occurance for her.  Here she fell asleep while she was coloring.  I couldn't help but take a picture of her.  How many of you sleep like this?  Not me, that's for sure.  She often sleeps at night doubled in half with her head between her feet. 

Today was my last Grief Counseling session.  The Counselor said that unless I had some issues I needed to talk about, she could see that there wasn't anything clinically wrong with me.  Well, isn't that good news!

I believe I am doing very well.  I miss Bill very much, but because of my faith, I am able to cope with being a widow and looking toward the future.  Not every day will be wonderful, but there will be wonderful things in each day if I but look for them. 

A Request And Message From Randie

Randie reminded me that I didn't post a picture of the wall picture I put up in the living room.  As you can see, it's a picture of a lighthouse surrounded by turbulent waters.  Can you see the door in the lighthouse?  There stands a man with one hand in his pocket looking out as if he were looking upon calm waters.  Why?  The inscription reads: 

The Lord is my rock,

my Fortress and my Deliverer,

My God is my Rock

In Whom I take Refuge.

Psalm 18:2

This picture is my constant reminder that when my world seems like a roaring, foamy sea, God is still in control and I just need to take refuge in Him.  Thank you, God, for your Word that sustains me.

ALSO ... RANDIE NEEDS SOMETHING:  For Bill's funeral dinner there were alot of desserts.  One in particular caught her eye and she wanted to have a piece, but it wasn't taken out of the box yet.  It was a double layer white cake with caramel frosting.  She's looked in several stores for this particular cake but can't find it.  If you brought it, would you please send me a message through my e-mail at the bottom of this blog page and let me know where she can buy one.  Many thanks!



A Night Out To Celebrate

I didn't blog last night because we were partying!  Last year Jane, Rachel, Jess and I went to the Hampton Inn as something special to celebrate Jessie's 21st birthday.  About a month ago she kept telling me she wanted to go to the hotel for her birthday, so I thought, why not? 

So, yesterday afternoon Di, Randie, Jane, Rachel, Jess and I went to the Hampton Inn (where Jessie is familiar with everything) and celebrated her up-coming 22nd birthday, which is Thursday, June 7.

I had a few people pray that there wouldn't be anyone in the pool, and God graciously answered that prayer in the positive.  We had it to ourselves both last night and this morning. 

We enjoyed pizza and cake and Jessie got to open some presents.  (Plenty of room for everyone as we had a suite.)  In all, it was a very nice night out.  She had a great time, especially in the pool, the whirlpool and the pool shower, for some reason.  She was happy and kept giving everyone hugs and kisses.  Guess this will be an annual get-together. 

We left before noon check out and went to Walmart and bought sandwiches for lunch at Subway, to the post office then came home.  Jess finished the day watching videos and playing on her iPad.  I took a 2 hour nap.  Jon went to the show again and just hung out. 

Decorating

I usually decorate with every season and holiday that there is.  Call me nuts, but I enjoy it and Bill always liked.  When I worked for the school district, I received hundreds of gifts that were seasonal related, so I have alot.  Today I decorated the house and deck with birdhouses and my year-round wreath for Memorial Day (yes, I know it's past) and Fourth of July.  If I do say so myself, it all looks very nice.  I've missed decorating.  I quit after Christmas because I just couldn't do it with taking care of Bill and all. 

Jon worked today and Jess amused herself the entire day except when we went to the post office, bank, McDonald's (ate in the van) and Kohl's.  Please continue to pray for Jessie as she is exhibiting drastic mood swings and an aversion to going anywhere that there would be a potential child, which is everywhere!  She's actually regressing, which is to be expected because of the losses in her life. 

Back To Shoes And Socks

I haven't worn socks and shoes for months.  Today I had to put them on because my toes were so cold.  It's been dreary, cold and rainy all day.  I am not complaining, because we sure need the rain, but it would have been nice if it were a little warmer!

I was a little down yesterday, anticipating what we were going to do today.  Jon and I were going to go pick out a headstone, but I decided that it would be depressing enough with sunshine, but with cold and rain - no thanks.  We'll go one day next week when he has off.  I don't want to do this job, but I know it needs to be done.  It's just so final - seeing Bill's name on a stone with birth and death dates.  My grief counselor asked if I ever heard the country western song: "You Don't Know Lonely Until It's Carved In Stone".  I haven't, but it makes perfect sense now. 

Debbie and Jess' breakfast out was a success.  They had breakfast with Kelly, Jessie's case coordinator, who meets them once a month for breakfast.  Afterwards they went visiting, and Jessie, once again, did very well.  I'm glad she had a good day. 

Jon went to the show and saw: "Snow White And The Huntsman", which he said was really good.  Not my kind of movie, that's for sure.  I worked on 3 rubbermaid boxes to be shipped to Lois in Haiti.  Now I'm closing up early and heading upstairs for the night.

P.S.  Happy Belated  ___th Birthday, Julie! (It was yesterday.)