I had my second session of Grief Counseling at 11:00. Today's was very insightful and the counselor reaffirmed that I am not going crazy and that all the emotions I have been dealing with are normal. I reaffirmed the fact that I do not like grieving. I told her that I wish there was a manual that I could read and follow, check off each phase as I go through it and then be done.
Please know that I am not minimizing in any way my love and grief over losing Bill. He was my everything. He's the man I prayed for and was given as a gift from God. I miss him terribly, but I know that he is enjoying himself and he wouldn't want to come back - even if he could. I wouldn't want him to. I just don't like crying often and going through a new loss each day as I experience what his absence means ... like ... well, I think I'll share that another night.
After my session I went shopping around the Oakland Mall. I don't normally shop over there, but it was fun going to different places. However, around 3:00 my knees were screaming at me, my back hurt and my feet weren't much better. I tend to forget at times that I'm not able to walk as much as I used to, and I am paying for it tonight. Oh, well, at least I enjoyed myself.
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