Sharing A Piece of My Heart Tonight

Jessie went to the Library this morning with Rachel and she was able to file a few DVD's with a little bit of help from Rachel. She said that she was a bit nervous at first but then was OK. She seems happy in this picture, anyway. I am so pleased that she is able to volunteer time to "work". This will give her a greater purpose in life.


As you may recall from last night's post I said that I had cried a lot at the last episode I watched of Signed, Sealed, Delivered last night.. What I didn't write was that it was about two special needs young adults, the girl having Down Syndrome.

When parents have special needs babies they go through a myriad of feelings. Happiness, sadness, grief, anger, questioning. When Jess was born, one of the things I grieved was that she'd never go to school with her brother, who is only 2 years older. Then as she got older, we realized that she wasn't high functioning and would need constant monitoring throughout her life. I believe we've dealt well with all that comes with having a special needs child. Yet, every once in awhile, something triggers an emotion long thought buried.

Last night's episode was about these two (high functioning) special needs adults who wanted to get married. I cried because I knew that Jessie would never get married. Never have any babies. Never be able to do many things that others can do, like the actors on that episode.

Please don't get me wrong. I am not feeling sorry for myself, or Jessie.  I love my daughter just the way she is. She is a precious young woman who loves life and gives such love to others. I praise God for her and for my son. I have no greater joy than being a mother. God gave me the desires of my heart: to be married and be a mother. I thank Him may times for this blessing. Tonight I just wanted to give you a piece of my heart.

Signed, Sealed and Delivered

Well, this afternoon I set a record. I watched 6 ...yes, 6 ... episodes of the Hallmark series, "Signed, Sealed and Delivered.". I had Jon TiVo them and I've got several more to go. However, I need to take a break from them. They are way too emotional, yet funny, too. I have to compose myself before I go upstairs and Jessie notices I've been crying. It's an excellent show. It's about the US Postal Service Dead Letter Department, and 4 employees who track down items that need to go to the owners, even years later. Man, I even have a headache from crying!

Chris came by and she watched several with me before we took a break for dinner. Earlier Jon and I went to church and then the 3 of us went out to lunch. Nothing like writing my day backwards! Oh, yes, it was also in the 50's today.

A Day With Shiloh

Both Pastor Ed and Doreen were busy today and asked if I would watch Shiloh for the afternoon. I looked forward to it, but Jess wasn't so sure. So I decided I'd leave Jessie home with Jon and took Shiloh out for a couple hours. We had lunch at McDonald's then she played in the play structure for awhile. Next we went to the Kezar Library and I bought a couple used books and some used DVD's for Shiloh and Jessie. A stop at K-9 Kindergarten for treats for Memphis ended our time out.

Shiloh played on Jessie's "blue" iPad while Jess used her "red" iPad for a bit while I straightened up the kitchen. Then Shiloh and I baked my "famous" banana cake. The first time in over 6 years that I have baked a cake.






Shiloh mashed up the bananas and helped the entire time. Jessie was just as happy to play with her cards and watch her YouTube movies.







I enjoy being with Shiloh. She reminds me of Megan. I began watching Megan in 2000 after I retired when she was only 4 months old and had her for almost 3-4 years. Then I watched her cousins, Billy and James. Next came Kylee and Lynzee. I enjoyed my time with each child and miss them all. It makes me feel good when Shiloh doesn't want to go home when it's time to leave. I pray that I made a difference in each one of "my kids" lives, and now Shiloh.

Shiloh is good for Jessie, too. With Jessie's PTSD and anxiety with children, she's learning to tolerate and even enjoy Shiloh's presence in our home. That's huge. In the picture above, they're doing perler beads together.

Jessie's Day Out

Jessie left at 9:15 a.m. for breakfast out with Rachel and didn't get home - to stay - until 7:00 p.m.! After breakfast they went to Target and Meijer's grocery shopping. After bringing the groceries home, they left and drove through McDonald's for a chicken snack wrap and went to Rachel's house to watch "Fuller House" on Netflix. Jessie is an avid "Full House" gal and according to Rachel didn't want to leave to come home. She's become a Fuller House gal now. They got home at 4:15 p.m. and Jess and I left at 4:45 to have dinner with a friend at Aubree's Pizzeria. We had the best fish and chips dinner. It also came with corn bread that was THE BEST I've ever eaten. When we got there at 5:00 the place was quiet and few people were there. When we left, it was packed and people were waiting to get in. I brought Jon a calzone home for his dinner after work. It was too big for him - he'll eat the other half tomorrow. Aubree's is a nice place to eat. I hope it stays there for awhile.

Not Your Typical Start To The Morning

Jon didn't make it to work this morning, as his jeep decided to keep his keys and not start. Then it started and wouldn't shut off. It still didn't release his keys. Finally it shut off, released his keys but the electrical was still on. He tried to undo the battery, but couldn't get the connections off. So, he just let the battery run down. He could have taken the van, but he wouldn't have made it out of the subdivision. They were not happy when he called in, but what could he do? Unbelievably, a tow truck was out in less than half an hour of when he called them. 

We didn't get the amount of snowfall we were predicted to get (8-13"), but if it hadn't rained off and on, we would have. The snow was too wet and heavy to even use the snowblower.  Jon managed to clean off the front bushes and shovel the sidewalk but that was about it. When we came back from getting Jon's vehicle, I went up and down the driveway several times and packed the snow down. It's supposed to be 57 degrees on Sunday. Mother Nature doesn't know what she wants to do this winter.

I spent the entire day doing wash and work hours on Jessie's yearly report. Thanks to Jon, who made a spread sheet for me, I should finish it tomorrow. Jessie spent the day asking when she could eat again, what was for lunch, snack and dinner. Over and over and over. She drove me crazy. I did get her to fold towels. She was pleased with herself as she gave herself 2 thumbs up!

I also spent the day in very bad pain with my back for some reason. I took pain medicine several times during the day, but it didn't take it completely away. I hope tomorrow is better. 

SNOW !!!

It began before it was supposed to, has continued through the day and is supposed to get worse tonight. They predict 8-13" around where we live. We will see in the morning!

Jon had a barium swallow at the TBH Outpatient building at 9:15 a.m. and he said he's never having another one! He did look a little green when he was finished. We did the necessary stops on the way home: breakfast, Walgreen's, bank and post office. We were both glad to get home. Jessie will have to start her new "job" at the Library next week. I wasn't about to send her out in the mess. Her Gym class and most school districts are closed for tomorrow, so it'll be a quiet day here. That just means wash and paperwork for me.

Jessie's Good Day

Brenda said Jessie had a good day and she was very happy. They went swimming, Subway for lunch, Stony Creek to swing and then home to swing so Jess could also sing her "Jesus" songs. She's even been very happy all afternoon and evening.

I went with Jon to his rheumatologist's appointment. He was a bit disappointed that the doctor wouldn't give him a diagnosis other than ... unidentified arthritis. He's just to continue on his Mobic and see the doctor in 6 months. Some of the inflammation markers in his blood work have come down, so that is good.

Speaking of Mobic, the Vet started Memphis on Mobicm too, and he seems to be doing much better. More lively.

Jessie Has A Job !!!!

I had a meeting this morning and when I was finished I went to Michael's and the post office. I was really pleased that the one thing I have wanted from Michael's was 30% off and then I had another 20% off coupon. I love shopping with coupons. It pays to wait until everything goes on sale!

When I got home I picked up Jessie and Rachel and we went to the Library. Making a long story short, Jessie will "work" (volunteer) once a week and shelve DVD's and videos. I am excited for her. This will give her a greater purpose and I'm excited it has to do with books.

On the way home I got gas for the van and went to Hallmark to buy a birthday present. Rachel quickly ate her lunch and went to school and I took Jess to get her left foot xrayed. They don't make appointments for xrays anymore, so it took a little longer than usual but Jessie was really good. When we were finished we ate at the Cafe in the Outpatient building. They have the BEST pizza around. Jess thinks so, too, as you can see from the picture.

Jess made a bee-line for her iPad when we got home and I crashed on the couch for a nap. I was exhausted.

A Wonderful Sunday

Jess and I met Diane and Randie for breakfast down near where they live, then we visited them for an hour or so at their house. We haven't done this for several months, and I had a really nice visit. Randie mentioned that Randazzo's had a special sale on chicken, so I picked up 10# of boneless, skinless chicken thighs for 99 cents a pound. A great deal in my opinion.

We visited Jon for about 10 minutes at his work. It was nice to see his new unit and the remodeling they've done there in the past several months. When we got home, both of us got our iPads. Jess to watch YouTube and me to watch a sermon from church that I missed.

Chris came by to watch a movie, but we spent the entire time just talking. I also baked all 10# of the chicken. We had some for dinner and I'll freeze the rest tomorrow.

It's been a really nice day.

A Very Blustery Night

Right before dinner last night we lost power. There was a high wind advisory from early evening until this morning. We were without power for a couple hours which wasn't too bad. I went to Walgreen's for medicine for Memphis and went through McDonald's drive thru for dinner. 

Then the winds began. It was very scary. It blew for hours with wind gusts in the 50+ mph range. Jon went to bed early because he had to go to work today. Jessie was also in bed early. I was at my "prayer table" doing my Bible Study wondering if something was going to crash through the window I was sitting next to. Things kept hitting the house. I gave up when the power went off again at 11:30 p.m. I went to bed. It was only off for a short time. 

All night long the wind blew. I kept waking up. I had a couple nightmares. An amber alert went off at 2:10 a.m. scaring everyone. I don't want to repeat last night. When I got up this morning I was surprised that I didn't see "Dorothy's" house in the back yard!

Just before I could give Jessie a bath the power went out again!  I heard Jessie yelling in her bedroom because the tv shut off and caught this picture of her hitting her forehead and saying, "AGAIN!"  

We had a very light breakfast because I didn't want to have the fridge open very long, not knowing how long we'd be without power. 

Jessie occupied herself with her cards and magazines and I began paperwork. I have a large report due to the county that I need to total up all her expenses for a year and give an accounting for every penny I spent. Thankfully, I was only a month behind in recording. 

Almost 2 hours later the power came back on. Jessie raised her arms and yelled, "Thank you, Jesus!"  She knows who to thank. 

We went out to the post office, Subway for lunch then Walgreen's before returning home. It was such a nice day. Blue skies, fluffy white clouds and 60 degrees. Jess wanted to swing so while she did that and sang her "Jesus" songs, I picked up dog poop and raked leaves and twigs. I've picked up dog poop in the winter before but I know I've NEVER raked leaves in February! In typical Michigan weather, we'll only be in the 40's tomorrow. This is the weirdest winter we've ever had. Barely any snow.

Prayers Needed For Memphis

Today was another day of appointments. Jess and I had our 6-month visit with the endocrinologist. We were late because I took the expressway instead of the back roads. One lane down from 3 made a mess of traffic. So, the "fast" way turned out to be the "slowest" way. Both our visits went well.

We ate breakfast at Alex's, Jessie's favorite place for pancakes. I dropped the girls off and went to the post office, came back and got Jon and Memphis and went to the Vet. He's not doing well. His back legs don't want to support him and he collapses quite often. He has a huge lump on his left side that the doctor said doesn't look good (after taking fluid from it). He has cataracts. Our dear Memphis doesn't have much time left. Please pray that he's not in a lot of pain that we don't know of, and that I can somehow prepare Jessie for his death. I've been mentioning to her that he's going to Heaven soon, and she says, "Sad".  I know we've only had him for 4 years, and it was only a short month and a half prior to Bill passing. But, I know He was sent by God to help Jessie through those very sad days, and the weeks, months and years to follow. This will be hard for all of us. Thank you for your prayers.

Something lighthearted ... as we were returning from the doctor's this morning, the song "Shake" by Mercy Me came on and Jessie did her share of shaking! It was so funny and both Rachel and I were laughing. When the song finished she yelled ... "Shake your bootie !!!!"  Excuse me? Now who taught her that? Not me!

Wednesday and Thursday

I was too tired last night after Stephen Ministry to sit down and blog. There really wasn't much to say. No Art class for Jessie, so Rachel helped Jess organize her DVD's in her bedroom. Rachel left at 1:00 and Jennifer came at 1:30 and they finished up the job. Jennifer left at 4:30 and Sue came at 5:30 to stay with Jess while I was at SM and Jon was at work. I thought that having 3 aides in one day would be a bit much for Jessie, but she really had a good time with each one.

Jon had his CT scan this morning and I went with him. This is for the lump in his neck. We went to Nino Salvaggio's on Hall Road and looked around after the test. It's a very interesting place. I've never been there before. A quick stop at Wiegand's and the post office and then home. Both of us were in quite a bit of pain - Jon with his hands and joints, me with a nerve pain in my leg. We both sat down for awhile to relax. Jessie and Brenda went grocery shopping, McDonald's and the Library.

Talk About A Busy Day!

My day began with an hour-long meeting with Jessie's former Case Worker, Kelly, and her new Case Worker, Vicki. When the meeting was over, they left and so did Brenda and Jessie for swimming. I did a load of wash and some paperwork before I left around noon.

I went to the bank, Walgreen's, got gas in my van ($1.49 per gallon) and went to the Family Christian Stores before I met Brenda and Jessie at the Beaumont building so Jess could get blood work for a doctor's appointment on Friday. Unfortunately, she didn't do well. Screamed a lot which is unusual.

From there we met at Aubree's for a soup, salad and pizza bar lunch. As always, it was really good. We had just enough time to eat and both of us went back to the house. Brenda went in and did her paperwork and Jess and I left for foot doctor appointments for both of us. Jessie did A W F U L. Probably the worst she has ever done in a doctor's office. Very loud, constant talking and constant burping. I was beside myself. We were in there for 1 1/4 hours! It was very hard for me to concentrate on what the doctor was telling me about my feet and then Jessie's foot. I would gladly have taken an anxiety pill myself if I'd had one!

When we left we went to the post office and Meijer's to get a couple items for a pot-luck at SM tomorrow night. When I drove by the gas station the gas had gone up to $1.79 per gallon! That's 30 cents in 4 hours!!!!!

While at Meijer's I picked up a roasted chicken for our dinner because I didn't have the mind-set to fix anything. Bob Evans mashed potatoes and microwave veggies made a quick and easy meal. We waited until Jon got home and ate together around 8:00 p.m.

It's 11:12 p.m. and my eyes are burning. I need to quit and go upstairs and do my Bible Study and go to bed. I hope I don't have another one of these days for a very long time, if at all.

Prayers For Shannon

Some of you may remember Jessie's former aide, Shannon. She left us unexpectedly several months before Bill passed away because she found out she was pregnant with triplets. Those beautiful babies are now 3 and 1/2 years old and the best behaved children I've ever seen.
This picture was taken last July at their 3rd birthday party.

Please pray for Shannon. She called me today to tell me that she has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She's having a PET scan tomorrow. Your prayers are greatly appreciated. This is a very special family and dear to our hearts. Thanks!

Congratulations, Diane and Randie

After 18 years of being together, Diane and Randie got married today at noon! On Valentine's Day - the anniversary of their first date. It was a very nice ceremony witnessed by immediate family ... Jon and I for Diane and Randie's sister and her husband and daughter, and Randie's two daughters and their families.

After the wedding we went out to eat at the Loon River Cafe, which has been one of their favorite places to eat for a long time.

Congratulations

Diane and Randie !!!

Saturday's Blog

I didn't get home last night until 11:30 p.m. and I was too tired to blog. The day was almost non-stop laughing. The Stephen Ministry Ladies met from 11:00 - 2:00 for a light lunch and a little game I made up. It was so much fun and I think everyone had a great time.

When I got home I rested a bit then made an early dinner and went out with the Glory Girls and their husbands for a night of snacks and games. Almost 4 hours of laughing. A very nice time with good friends.

A Jessie and Jane Day

Rachel had to take her renewal First Aid and CPR class today so her Mom, Jane, came to be with Jessie (she's also an aide). I know I've mentioned before that Jessie will only do certain things with certain aides. Today Jane played Apples to Apples with Jessie for over 2 hours! They also went out to breakfast, Aldi's and the Used Bookstore. Jess had a great day with Jane. We've both missed Jane!

A Beautiful Day

Blue skies, fluffy clouds and sunshine. Beautiful. However, very cold. But, you can't have everything!

Jessie and Brenda went grocery shopping, Gym class, McDonald's for lunch then the Library. They both had good days.

I had Bible Study then I shopped and various stores and didn't get home until 3:00 p.m. A productive day.

Jon had a much better day today than the past week. Woo hoo!

This One's For You, Doreen !!!

Jon bought himself some sushi the other day and was putting some in his lunch box for tomorrow. Jess always wants to try what Jon has so he let her have a small rice roll. She popped that thing in her mouth and started chewing when all of a sudden she stopped, got a strange look on her face and started gagging. Being the good parent I am, and the good brother Jon is, we both started laughing. I helped her get it out of her mouth and she kept gagging for several minutes. When she finally caught her breath she looked at us and gave a thumbs down !!!!  We laughed even harder because she's never done that before. Sorry, Doreen, you've lost another sushi partner!

Way To Go, Jessie !!!

It was swimming day and it seems that Jessie did something I thought she'd never do, according to Brenda, who told Jon since I wasn't home when she left.  She put 4 noodles under her arms and stomach, kicked off from the wall and floated across the open water kicking her feet and using her arms to "swim". That is just plain incredible. It is one of those things that happens and you'd say ... "I'll believe it when I see it."  Since I trust what Brenda tells me, I can't say it this time. But, this is how amazing this is. 

When Jessie was in school, the "experts" would always tell me that she would reach her highest learning abilities around age 12. I didn't believe them then, and I sure as heck don't believe them today. She still learns new things, does new things and I don't expect she'll stop. Praise God for this and that there are so many opportunities for her to grow. 

Jon's Doctor Appointment

Jon had his appointment with the ENT this morning for the lump in his neck. Making a long story short and saving you the imagery of a test he had in the office, the doctor felt he has Laryngopharyngeal Reflux (LPR). He said he could see no cancer and nothing notable except inflammation.

There are 2 types of gastro esophageal reflux (GERD) and LPR, which is known as the "silent reflux". One of the symptoms is the sensation of a lump in the throat, which is inflammation of the larynx (voice box).

Aren't you impressed with my descriptions? Don't be. I had no idea what the doctor was telling Jon and he only got half of it. The above is from a paper they gave him. He will be taking a medication to control and help the inflammation. Plus, since I opened my mouth and asked if this could be hereditary, and that Bill had esophogeal cancer, Jon will also be having a CT scan and a barium swallow. The CT scan will be OK, but I'm not so sure about the barium swallow.

This inflammation in his neck and the inflammation that is happening in his joints seem to me to be related. But, I'm not a doctor. It just seems strange that they happened around the same time. He sees the rhumatologist in a couple of weeks.

Praise God with me that his report today was good. I'm thankful that the doctor did not see anything that looked like cancer and seemed pretty positive about his diagnosis. He sure did an extensive exam. It's a blessing these days to find a thorough doctor and one who really seems to care.

Another Sunday At Home

We slept in, ate a late breakfast, I did 2 paperwork jobs that needed doing today, tried to watch 2 past sermons from church but it kept freezing, read part of a book, and had a very late lunch. Chris came and we watched another movie. Jess watched YouTube videos all day when she wasn't screaming at Chris for coughing! Jon had a very difficult day at work. My heart aches for him as he works while in such terrible pain throughout his body. I hope a doctor can help him soon!

A Busy Day

I had to get up early because the wedding gowns were going to be picked up at 8:00 a.m. All other times fell through that were scheduled for pick up. By 10:00 a.m. I had done so much work I needed a nap! Paperwork and washing clothes took up most of the day. Jess and I went to the post office, bank and McDonald's for our usual Saturday lunch. However, this time it was so nice out we sat in the van and had a "picnic". We even took off our winter coats while we ate.

Jessie's Special Gift

Rachel took Jessie out to breakfast and they met her old and new case workers, Kelly and Vickie. When they went to pay, an older gentleman (90's) that is always there with his friend on Friday mornings, paid for all 4 breakfasts! Thank you, George! That was very nice. 

Rachel took Jessie to the Library to get more books then they went grocery shopping. There wasn't much time for anything else.

Jon wasn't feeling very well today. He was in a lot of pain. 

I did paperwork and a friend of ours came and replaced a toilet, tried to replace a faucet, and replaced toilet tank innards that wouldn't stop running. 

I tried a new salmon patty recipe for dinner that included Corn Flakes and a basil mayonnaise topping. Jon made Red Lobster biscuits and baby carrots. We got a butt wiggle and thumbs up from Jessie! It's been years since I've tried something new. This one was a winner!

All's Well

Yesterday I was busy all day washing clothes and cleaning the upstairs bathroom closet. I have to admit that it was gross. I won't tell you the last time I cleaned it, because I can't remember! Rachel took Jessie to her Art Class then home for lunch. She left at 1:00 and Jessie's new aide, Jennifer, came from 2:00 - 4:00 p.m.  It was a time of getting to know one another. Sue came at 5:45 p.m. and stayed with Jess while I went to Stephen Ministry. When it came time to blog, I was just too tired.

Brenda needed to take her mom to the doctor's, so there was no aide to take Jessie to her Gym Class today. I stayed home from Bible Study to be with her, but at lunch time the small group met at a local restaurant and I took Jessie with me to join them. She did really good, although very loud. She loved the food and kept giving me thumbs up!

However, when we got home, she wasn't so good. I don't know what going out does to her emotionally, but she talks and yells and burps for hours after coming back home. (The burping is not from food digestion. It's forced.) I lasted about a half hour listening to her when I made her sit on the couch with me. She took about an hour's nap. I thought she'd be better when she woke up. Not. She sat right up and started in again.

I am seriously looking into a psychiatric therapy dog for her. I have a couple web sites to look through, but haven't started yet. When she's had severe melt downs at home, Memphis has gone right to her and his being there helped her out of the melt down. However, he's a service dog, not a therapy dog. Speaking of Memphis. Poor boy - he's getting so thin and his back legs just don't want to work. It's just a matter of time until he can't get up. That will not be a good day. He is too big for me to lift.

A Very Busy Day

Brenda took Jessie swimming then to Subway. They started walking at Stony Creek but the wind kicked up and it was too cold to walk much. They came home early.

I did 2 loads of wash, made a package for Lois, did Stephen Ministry stuff for tomorrow night, wrote out several checks, went to the Post Office, Walgreen's, McDonald's for a fast drive thru lunch that I ate in the Target parking lot, then I had a much-needed pedicure. Home for about an hour doing more paperwork then Jess and I left to get our hair cut. Wendy's for dinner and home in the pouring rain. Now I'm trying to finish some paperwork then go upstairs. I'm tired just reading about what I did!

Jon had a crappy day at work. Unfortunately, he's not had any good days for a very long time.

Jon's Jeep Has Returned !!!

After 11 days in the shop, we picked up Jon's jeep this evening. Thankfully, it was under warranty and he didn't have to pay anything. Now he'll have heat to make it to work and back without freezing. After we picked it up, we met Chris at a restaurant in Richmond for dinner.

Jessie got to go outside again and swing today. That made her very happy.