For the past month Bill has needed 24/7 care. I had spent most of my time upstairs in the bedroom with him. Tomorrow will be one week since he passed away. Beginning yesterday I didn't have to get up for anything. My calendar is empty. Bill doesn't need care. I find myself looking off into the distance, not really seeing. There is no time line and no one needs to be cared for, except Jess and she just needs monitoring. I feel lost. I know I need rest and I have taken naps, but this is the first time in many, many years that I have not been a care giver. Adjustments certainly need to be made. I need to find my "new norm".
This morning Jessie said she wanted to go to Heaven, too. I explained to her that we will go one day and be with Daddy again, but it wasn't the right time. Debbie had her outside quite a bit and she really enjoyed that. I was tempted to put the porch in order for the summer, but you just never know. I recall several April snowstorms. So, I just left it.
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