A New Look

Keep watching for a picture of the "new" Bill.  He is SOOOOOO cute with no hair.  Today he looked like a bouncer with his dark sunglasses and no hat.  I think he should get his ear pierced next. ( He's currently staring at me and the vibes I feel from him are not too loving.)  I put a bracelet on his ankle tonight, too, and that didn't go over well either.  He's such a good sport!

Chicken Soup

I want to tell you about something that happend in my life over 12 years ago.  At the time, my boss was a very spirit-filled woman (still is) who spent each day serving the elementary children and parents where we worked.  God ministered to her in a very special way, especially on days that were very difficult.  Inevitably on those challenging days (that no one knew about but her and maybe me) someone would walk in the door and bring her some form of nourishment - mostly soup!  Many days were challenging for me, too, but did I ever get soup?  NO!  We talked about this and she said that God reminded her that He was taking care of her as she was ministering to those He brought to her.  She happened to like homemade nourishment and He knew what made her feel special and gave her a tangible reminder that He was there with her.

As you know from yesterday's post, yesterday ranked high on my list of a very bad day.  Nothing topped yesterday's news except for the time we were first told that Bill had cancer.  I held together for a couple hours and thought I was doing pretty good until we stopped at Sam's Club and had a panic attack and couldn't stop crying for over a half hour.  That was embarassing. 

Anyway, by the time I got home I was numb and wondered what I could make for dinner.  I began making french toast when the door bell rang.  There stood a teacher friend of mine from the days mentioned above with a bag of something.  She said she wondered who could use some CHICKEN SOUP and thought of me.  Immediately, my mind went back to the days of God giving my boss soup when days were bad.  I was awestruck by this very tangible sign from God, to me, that He is and always will be with me - good days and bad.  Thank you, God, for chicken soup!   

A Red Lobster Day

We LOVE Red Lobster but only go there to celebrate something, maybe once a year?  After today's doctor's appointment we did NOT have anything to celebrate but felt we just needed to go and drown our sorrows in their delicious biscuits and seafood.  So, eat we did and we enjoyed every forkful.

I'm numb as I write this.  It appears that Bill was misdiagnosed.  He does not have pancreatic cancer - he has esophogeal cancer.  I suppose it doesn't matter where it started since it is stage IV and in the liver, lungs, pancreas, esophogus and lymph nodes, no matter where it started.  However, since chemo is tailored to the kind of cancer, the past 2 months the chemo was for the wrong area.  Thus, the cancer has gotten worse.

Tomorrow he has an emergency chest CT then Thursday they will give him the "big guns" chemo.  Treatment will last over 6 hours and side effects will not be good.  We would appreciate your prayers as we deal with this new development. 

Girls Day Out

We removed Jessie from a work experience school over a year ago and she has been so much happier and is learning so much more.  Tuesday through Saturday we have an aide who works with Jessie on academics, art, and so much more.  Plus, Tuesday is Library Day, Wednesday is Baking Day, Thursday is Shopping Day, Friday is Breakfast-Out Day and Saturday is a special event day (show, mall, etc.).  Sunday is Church on TV and Family Day, and Monday is Girls Day Out.  Jess and I spend the day together and we go shopping and out for lunch.  I love being with my daughter; she is so much fun to be around.  Today we went to the bank, got gas, went grocery shopping, ate Grinders at Bellacino's and went to church and worked in the Library for a bit.  Today we had Girls Day Out Plus One Guy: we let Jon go with us.  I love being with both my kids. 

Bill worked all day today and probably pushed himself too much.  Very tired tonight and it's been a hard emotional evening, anticipating the doctor's appointment he has tomorrow for CT and biopsy results. 

Sunday

Jon went to Sunday School, Bill took his Mom to church, I stayed home with Jess.  My sister took my mom to her house for the day.  I fixed a nice dinner, Jess went swinging in her hammock, I read a good book, Jon played on his xbox with Jacob, Bill rested.  It's almost 8:30 p.m. and Jon's been in bed for an hour, Jess is asleep on the couch and Bill's asleep in the recliner.  Like I said yesterday, days like today I almost forget that we're dealing with cancer.  Almost. 

Another "A" Day

What could be better than an A+ day?  How about 2 A days in a row!  Yup, Bill's felt good and looked good.  Fatigue has also been minimal.  Minute pain.  For me, it's almost easy to "forget" that Bill has cancer when he has such good days.  I asked him if it was like that for him, too, and he said, "No, I never forget." 

An A+ Day

Bill went to work today and accomplished more than he set out to do.  Everything went well and the wind didn't carry him away.  He felt good and looked good.  Thank you, Jesus, for an A+ day for Bill.

I spent the first half of the day still in the dumps and had the weepies.  Boy, I hate being in that state of mind.  I kept reminding myself that I was allowed to be down for a bit, but I wasn't about to wallow there.  Late this afternoon I was back to my normal self, what ever that is. 

The crabbies must be going around, because Jess had her turn today.  She was so crabby for her aide, that she finally had to take a nap.  She slept hard for about a half hour, then was back to her loving self.  Sort of. 

Soon I'll post something about my wonderful son.  Just have to ask him what I can and can not post.