A Very Blah Day

Today began with everyone (except Jess) oversleeping.  Most likely because it was so dark and rainy.  Bill didn't feel well the entire day and was depressed, although he said he didn't have anything to be depressed about!  I felt like I had been drugged until I drank some caffeinated pop late in the afternoon.  Jon never did look like he woke up!  Now Jess ... well, let's just say that she spent most of her day very crabby and extremely stubborn.  None of us are looking forward to Thursday - Chemo Day. 

On a better note, I put all the Harvest decorations away this afternnon and only found 6 items I had overlooked.  That's not too bad.  I need a separate building just for my seasonal decorations.  Also, we had soup and sandwiches for dinner and I gave Bill the soup spoons to put on the table and told him the biggest one was for him since his mouth was bigger.  When I went to eat my soup, guess who had the bigger spoon? Funny, Bill!

We're Praising God For Good Days

We know that Bill is having good days only because of God's people who are faithfully praying for him.  Not only did he go out for the morning, he and Jon went to Men's Group (from church) tonight.  Thanks, everyone!

Please remember Bill as he is scheduled for chemo again on Thursday. 

Jess and I had another great Girls Day Out.  I am so thrilled that Jessie actually looks forward to Mondays.  I didn't get any work done at home, but we enjoyed one another's company.  That's what is most important.  I'll do the work tomorrow.

What's On Your Christmas Tree?

Jess and I finished the tree tonight.  It takes many hours, but something that I really enjoy because there's alot of history on it.  I have made ornaments out of things like ... Jon's first comb, our wedding cake top, tiny small dishes I painted, a perfume bottle from my grandma, some really old knick knacks from my other grandma, ornaments from my parent's tree, and items that I don't necessarily want out all year but want to keep.  I have handmade ornaments and ornaments from places we've visited on vacations.  It is a very personal tree. 

Both kids have trees for their bedrooms with their own ornaments.  I've made ornaments for them out of small toys that they had growing up that they don't use anymore.  Each year they get Hallmark ornaments to add to them.  Jessie's tree is filled with sparkly beaded necklaces and bracelets.  Jon's has blue lights and Jessie multi-colored lights.  I saw a tree this year at Young's that I really wanted for her - it was purple with pink lights.  Just couldn't justify the cost!

Bill, my Mom and I were able to go to church today.  It was great being there and visiting with people we haven't seen in a long time.  It was a great sermon, too.  Bill felt good up to the afternoon when it went downhill.  Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.  He has chemo again on Thursday.

Saturday Fun

Bill, Jon and I went shopping for items that I need to ship to Lois.  Got everything but one item, so that is very good.  Bought Jess a couple things for Christmas.  Parking lots were crazier than the stores! 

When we got home Bill rested (he had another pretty good day!) and I relaxed for 2 hours.  I sat with my feet up and downloaded more applications to the iPad for everyone.  You may not believe this, but I don't usually just relax, especially for a couple hours.  It's hard for me to do that.  I feel guilty.  Sounds crazy, but it's the truth. 

Jess and Shannon went to see Tangled this afternoon.  Both liked it alot and Jess told Shannon she wants the DVD for home.  After dinner Jessie helped me decorate the lower third of the Christmas tree.  She took ornaments out of their boxes and handed them to me.  We hope to finish tomorrow.  Usually she doesn't want to help.  I'm glad she wants to do this with me this year. 

Lots Of Company

Today we had lots of company which made the day zip by.  First Jon's best friend, Jacob, came and they spent the day on Jon's Xbox, then they went to a "Left Over Party".  They're still there.

Our good friends, Ed and Doreen (from New Jersey) came and visited for awhile.  It was nice seeing them again.  Although, from the look on Jessie's face, she's not sure about Ed! 

Diane, Randie and my Mom came for dinner and brought everything!  Randie made beef vegetable soup, Diane made homemade cornbread and Randie made a ginger pumpkin ice cream dessert.  Yum!  Diane and I spent several hours updating our iPads and downloading new applications.  Can you tell how thrilled Bill and Mom were?  Actually, Bill said "I had a pretty good day today."  We'll take it!

Happy Thanksgiving

We had a very nice, quiet day.  While the turkey was roasting we put the lights on the tree.  We had boxed mashed potatoes, homemade gravy, boxed stuffing, canned sweet potatoes and a homemade corn bubble with frozen  biscuits.  Not to mention baby sweet pickles, green and black olives, pickled beets and cranberry sauce.  Then, it's not Thanksgiving (or Christmas) without our pumpkin ice cream pie for dessert. Yum!

My mom was here for the day and I think we all took naps except for Jess.  She's been on the iPad for hours!  Speaking of Jess, I think I've figured out why she's been so miserable.  This is the first time in 9 years that Grandma Sutton has been out of the house for an extended period of time.  She's always here - sitting in her chair.  Jessie is really worried about when she's coming back and if she has food to eat and where she's sleeping. 

We hope everyone had a very nice and memorable Thanksgiving.  We all have much to be thankful for. 

A Much Better Day

It only took me 25 minutes to calm Jess down this morning and she only had a couple episodes of anger during the day.  Thanks for praying.

Bill began his day with breakfast out with his friend, Al.  He was well enough (or just plain tired of hearing me ask him to do this job) to change burned out overhead cabinet lights in the kitchen.  We went out to lunch then as something very special, the four of us went out to dinner at a restaurant!  We sat in the very back and no one was around us, so Jess did well.  That was very nice.  We rarely get to eat out as a family.

How does it make you feel when young people come and visit "old" people?  It made us feel VERY special that they took the time to visit. Thanks, Cressalyn and Erin, for spending time with us today.

Thanks to Jon being with my mom today, I was able to get caught up on wash and Thanksgiving preparation.  I also felt much better.  I was not as stressed as I've been.  (Thank you, Amy, for praying for me each morning this week.  And, thank you, Julie, for calling me each day to check up on me.)

 

Please Pray For Jess

We'd appreciate your prayers for Jessie.  I'm not sure what all is going on in her head, but she's been very OCD lately.  Today was the worse she's ever been.  Took me an hour to calm her down this morning because she wanted "ten presents in the morning".  It's going to be a very long 32 days until Christmas.  That behavior lasted several hours today.  It's very wearing on us, to say the least. 

I wish I could help Jess.  I took her to a psychologist today who does play therapy with children but because of Jessie's lack of communication skills, she will not be able to help her.  I was very disappointed.  I had such high hopes that with all we're going through, she could help Jess - somehow - cope with life better. 

It was a hard day for me.  Bill didn't feel well, and Jon walked around the house with a half-numb face from dental work, which took at least 6 hours to wear off.  I'm sure counting on the prayers of our friends to keep us going, that's for sure.

I've got to think of something funny to relate, as so much serious stuff is getting me down!

A Too Full Day

Jon to doctor.  Bill, Nan and Jess to post office and my mom's.  Spent 3 1/2 hours there doing various things and being there with the PT and Nurse.  Bill and Jon home (Bill didn't feel very well today).  Jess and I to lunch for "Big Girls Day Out."  Home for 10 minutes and greeted Bill's sister, Ruth, her husband and son who are here overnight.  (They've come to take Mom Sutton to their home upnorth for Thanksgiving.)  Met my sister at an elder care lawyer then out for a quick dinner before I finally got home for the day around 6:30pm.  Too much, too much.  Best part of the day was actually sitting down with everyone and visiting for several hours.  That was nice.  Now off to bed. 

How Long Does It Take To Decorate?

When I worked, it was our tradition to set up the Christmas tree on Thanksgiving weekend.  Since I've been retired, we have tried to set it up one week before Thanksgiving.  I used to get it up in a couple of days.  Now ... well, the tree is up, that's about it.  Maybe tomorrow night I'll put the lights on.  A friend of mine offered to come help decorate.  Each day that sounds better and better, because it takes me over a week to decorate.  Now with my mom's care and all, it'll probably take two!

Did you happen to notice Bill's legs in the picture?  He's relaxing.  Been doing that for days, although he was able to go outside and finish the outdoor decorations today.  We are POSITIVE that he is having good days as a direct result of prayer.  Thank you for continuing to think of us and lift us to the throne.

The Snowflake Search Has Ended

Several years ago we purchased a large outdoor snowflake and mounted it over our front porch so that we can have it on for the Christmas Season, as well as January and February - especially when it snows.  One day last spring we looked outside and our snowflake had broken into several pieces and lay on the sidewalk.  I've been looking for one to replace it for a month, but no luck.  Diane and Randie told me to go to a place on Ryan south of 12 Mile Road (can't remember the name!).  Yah!  We don't have to look anymore.  This one is even nicer as it twinkles.  Oh, the simple pleasures in life. 

Bill had another good day today and he was able to be out with Jon and me.  It was such a beautiful day.  We enjoyed each other's company very much.  I love together days.

An Impromptu Family Date Day

For the first time in a very long time, the four of us went out together.  Shannon wasn't able to work today, so Jon took over Jessie's care but also had to go get blood work.  So, we all went with him then stopped at Wendy's for lunch.  Jessie was SO excited.  She kept laughing and singing at the top of her lungs along with her music CD's.  We also stopped at a couple hobby stores for Bill and Jon to look around.  Bill's almost done with his ship model, so today he bought himself a V8 engine model to help keep him busy.

Peak Day

I forgot to mention yesterday that Bill had a pretty good day.  Unfortunately, today hasn't been the same.  It's been pretty rough.  He did get a change of scenery, though, since he spent the day with me at my mom's house. 

Speaking of my mom, please continue to pray for Diane and I as we look into various home care options.  Mom doesn't believe she needs any help, so we are meeting resistance. I guess this is where "tough love" comes in to play.  I'm not really liking my role at the moment.

Jess has been much more challenging lately, too.  She probably picks up on the tension in the house and the fact that I have been gone alot lately.  She definitely hasn't been happy, that's for sure. 

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

The Star of Washington

We received a phone call from a long-time friend of ours yesterday.  He owns a business in Washington and years ago erected a very tall star that he lights during the Christmas Season.  Over the years we've told Bob how much we enjoy its presence - we can see it from the kids' front bedrooms and as you drive into Washington, it lights the way to our house.  For some reason, it means alot to us.  It just wouldn't be Christmas without the Star of Washington.

Anyway, Bob called to tell Bill that he was thinking about him, and in honor of Bill he lit the star early this year.  How awesome is that!  Instead of waiting until Thanksgiving, he had it turned on yesterday just for Bill.  Thanks, Bob.  You made our day (and Christmas Season) very special. 

Not Much To Say

Today was a paperwork day for me plus many loads of wash.  Jon was in and out and Jessie went to the Library with Shannon.  Bill wasn't feeling well this morning but improved in the afternoon.  He felt well enough to go with me to get the mail and a couple of prescriptions.  He also went with Jess and I down to my mom's tonight for several hours.  So for Bill, it was a better day than yesterday!  We'll take it.

Zombie Brains and Adios Mustache

I bet you're wondering where this is going!

Let me tell you about my day ... after getting up, dressed and taking care of Jessie and getting her breakfast, I cleaned up the kitchen and did some odds and ends.  Jon began washing clothes.  Then Jess and I left for our "Girls Day Out".  We went to the Salvation Army to drop off some things, to a friends' house to return a casserole dish, got gas then ate lunch at Wendy's.  To the post office and called Bill and told him I'd pick him up in two minutes to go to my mom's house.  Almost reaching 26 Mile I relized I had forgotten to go home and get Bill!  I hit my forehead and moaned.  Jessie said, "Stupid people?"   "No," I said.  "Stupid Momma!"

To Mom's to take Jon's place because he had a dental appointment.  Was there for the visiting nurse.  After she left we returned home just in time for a case worker meeting.  Paper work and phone calls had to be made before I began dinner.  By the time dinner was done and the kitchen cleaned up, I was DONE.

Just then, as Jon was going back downstairs to switch over the wash, I heard a loud crash.  He accidently kicked a very large glass jar of salsa down the basement stairs.  What a mess.  Glass and salsa all over the stairs, wall and floor.  As Jon was cleaning it up he commented that it looked just like what was left of zombie brains when they were blown up on a program he watched.  That did it.  I was out of there.

When I married Bill, he was a very clean shaven man.  On our honeymoon I encouraged him to grow a mustache.  It's been 27 years since I've seen that lip - he shaved his mustache off today.  It had been getting a little sparse.  Jon says he looks like a baby duck (I'll probably get in trouble for telling you this) and Jdessie just stared at him and touched his mouth. 

Bill's had another very hard day.  Very sick and plastered to the couch.  His days are long and discouraging.

We Miss Church

Bill and I have attended church all our lives.  It's something we grew up doing and we've been attending church and serving since we've been married.  We've raised our two children in church.  We attended as a family.  We worshipped as a family.  Church has been a very big and important part of our lives.

For this entire year, we have not been able to regularly attend church.  We miss it.  It's not just the service, because we can get the sermons on the church's web site.  Or, we can watch "church tv" (as Jessie calls it).  It's the fellowship.  I miss the handshakes, the hugs.  It's sharing in one another's lives.  It's laughing when someone shares a funny happening.  It's crying with someone who's had a hard week.  It's praying with someone you don't know, asking God to intervene. 

              Let us hold unswervenly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.  Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.   Hebrews 10:23-25.

Please pray for us especially on Sunday's.  This is one of the hardest days of the week for us.  Especially for Bill, who is not feeling well at all. 

"Too-Key Day Comin!"

I may not make it to Thanksgiving with my entire mind in tact (which isn't much).  Now that Halloween is over, Jessie is fixated on "Too-Key Day".  The entire day today she's been saying over and over and over: "Too-Key Day Comin!"  By the time I put her to bed she had to have said it AT LEAST 50 times.  Then she wanted me to put away ... NOW ... the Harvest decorations and put up the Christmas tree.  She was NOT happy when I told her it would have to wait at least another week. 

Spent a few hours before lunch outside with Jon helping him cut the lawn and pick up the leaves. Put a few more Christmas decorations up outside, too.  Jess and I went out to lunch and to Michael's and Kohl's.  Unfortunately, when we were in line at Michael's a young boy came up behind her and started screaming at his mom and set her off into a full-blown panic attack.  Poor, Jess.  She was screaming and crying herself.  Good thing I don't care what people think.  It was quite the scene. 

Bill worked a little bit on his model but wasn't feeling well most of the day.  Pretty crappy tonight.  He's back to not sleeping again - seems to be the pattern right after chemo.  He played putt putt golf on the iPad from 1:15 - 4:30 a.m.  A little down today, too.

So Much For Peanut Butter

Well, for the first time in months, the peanut butter didn't work.  Bill hiccupped for hours this morning.  Called the doctor and got a prescription for medication that should work.  However, a half hour of taking it, Bill had an adverse reaction to it and had distorted vision.  That was scary.  He's not taking that medication again.  The hiccups have continued, but other than those and the reaction, he's had a fairly good day.

I did not accomplish all I had set out to do today, but I guess I got done what was the most important.  Please continue to pray as Diane and I seek a solution to my mom's care. 

A Day Filled With Praises

Well, I must say that I am very glad that in a few minutes I can go to bed and call it a day.  It's been long and hard, but let me share with you some praises ...

* The nurse was able to draw blood from Bill's port within about 10 minutes.  Enough to meet their guidelines for infusion.  Also, his blood work results were terrific.  We are blessed with a great team of professionals who help Bill through the 6 hours of infusions.  They are a great support team.

* A friend of ours, Gary, came and spent almost 3 hours with Bill and they had a very nice visit.  Those 3 hours breezed by.  During that time I was able to walk across the street and be with my mom and sister and make some decisions. 

* Mom is sleeping in her own bed tonight.  The hospital doctor felt there wasn't any need for her to be in the hospital and she could go home.  Diane and I are working on her day-to-day care and supervision.  Diane had some great ideas and has begun to implement them.  I am so blessed to have a sister who is able to help in my mom's care.  So many families aren't that fortunate to have siblings that can work together.  I have a great sister!

*  We praise God that we have so many friends who love us, care about us, and pray for us.  Right now Bill is doing fairly well.  Other than fatigue, he's just been plagued with hiccups.  Bring on the ;peanut butter!
I'm calling it a day.  More tomorrow.  Good night.

P.S.  May I be the first to say ... "Good morning, Julie!"

A Challenging Day

Bill and I had our morning all planned - a nice breakfast out, a couple of stores and put the rest of the Christmas lights up outside.  Thought we'd go on a wild "fling" before chemo again tomorrow.  Unfortunately, I spent the entire day in the hospital ER with my mom who fell last night getting into bed.  She scraped and bruised her back pretty bad.  I asked her why she didn't call me last night and she said, "I don't know.  I think you needed your sleep." 

Anyway, she's still there and if the ER doctor has her way, she'll go straight to a nursing home.  Diane and I are frantically looking into other options.  We want her to stay in her own home.  Doesn't everyone?  Diane and I need your prayers as we gather information and make some tough decisions. 

This could not have come at a worse time.  I am torn between my husband and my mother. Tomorrow is Bill's chemo day - we have to be there by 9:00 a.m. and we usually don't leave until after 4:00 p.m.  Diane will take off work (she still works full time) and be there in the morning.  When I can, I'll "hike" across the street and check on Mom.  Hopefully, they'll have a motorized scooter I can use.  Otherwise, it might take me all day just to get there. 

We expected Bill to have a good day today but he didn't.  No pain, but was completely wiped out and was plastered to the couch again all day. 

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Good News/Bad News

Thank you  to everyone who has been praying.  The CT scan results had some bad news (some cancer areas/tumors were larger) and good news (some cancer areas/tumors were smaller).  According to the PA we saw today (our Doctor's baby decided to arrive and he felt he should be with his wife!) they can't tell if the chemo is doing any good.  He's scheduled for another 2 rounds then another CT.  So, we just carry on as we have. 

This Thursday, November 11, is the next round.  The past treatment hit him alot harder and faster than the first one, so we're concerned how this one will be.  The next one will be 2 days before Christmas.  That's a big bummer, to be sure.  The pain he's been having most likely is from gallstones.

More tonight.  Thought you'd like to know earlier than my late posting time.

A Change In Routine

Shannon isn't working on Saturday, so she worked today instead.  Jess wasn't happy about that because she couldn't have "Big Girls Day Out."   I am so excited that she didn't want Shannon here.  Now, don't get me wrong.  We all love Shannon, Jessie especially, but when a daughter wants to spend time with her mom instead of her best friend, now that's VERY special.  That blessed me today, for sure!

Wasn't it a beautiful day?  The rest of the week is only going to get better.  A special thanks goes to our neighbor, Ed, who cleaned up our leaves with his riding lawn mower/sweeper.  All we had to do was put the leaves in the bags. We really appreciate it.

10-Pin Strike

I wish you could have seen Jess this morning while she was supposed to be watching TV church.  She was down on the floor with the iPad, playing 10-Pin Strike.  When she missed the pins she would yell "Oooohhhh!" along with the background "Oh's!".  When she got a spare or strike, she'd do a high five and yell "Yah!", right along with the background "Yah's!"  She played for almost an hour and only stopped because she needed breakfast.

This afternoon she played on it again - doing puzzles.  We have an app that allows you to use the pictures that are downloaded onto the iPad and turns them into puzzles.  I've got 83 pictures of Jessie on there and she puts them together.  What amazes me the most is that after she's done with one, there are several commands that you have to touch in order to get another puzzle - and she knows how to do it!  I had to delete the preschool puzzles I had downloaded for her - too simple.

A very quiet day.  Bill was in alot of pain and discomfort again but got relief from Darvocet.  I had a nice long nap and he cat napped.  Jon went to Sunday School which he really enjoys and watched tv or played computer games today.  You already know what Jess did.  

Synvisc-One

That's the name of the shot that I will be getting in December.  Sorry I didn't have it last night.  I only do stairs when it's absolutely necessary. 

Today was hair cut day and grocery shopping day.  Jon, Jess and I got our hair cut first thing in the morning and then Jon and I went to Kroger's and Bill and I went to Meijer's.  Although Bill was able to go out today, he has not had a good day.  He's been in a considerable amount of pain.  I'm now finding out that he isn't always telling us how bad he feels.  My heart aches for my wonderful husband.  I wish he didn't have to go through all this.  It just isn't fair. 

One of the hardest things for him is that he is unable to do the one thing he loves to do - work.  He fills his days with football games, the iPad and his model, but it just isn't the same. 

Cluck, Cluck !!!

I went to the surgeon today about my knee.  He walked in, looked at Bill and Jon and wanted to know why I had brought my body guards!  Cute.  The bottom line on my left knee is severe arthritis in the knee cap.  The torn miniscus is secondary.  Orthoscopic surgery could be done but he couldn't guarantee that it would even do any good.  Knee replacement would take care of it, but I'm not ready for that.  So, I am going to have 3 injections - one each week - beginning the first week in December.  I'll have to tell you what it's called in tomorrow's post because the paper is upstairs.  However, I do know that it is made from the chicken comb.  So, if you hear me cluck, you'll know I've had the shots!

Bill had a good morning and early afternoon again, and downhill after that.  He's been plastered to the couch since around 3:00. 

CT Scan Is Done

We were at the hospital by 9:15 a.m., Bill got his delicious drinks at 9:55 a.m. and finally got called back for the 10 minute CT scan at 11:50.  Whew!  We played on the iPad, I read some, looked over a report for Jessie's 6-month reevaluation for services and basically just waited and watched everyone else drink.  Bill offered to let me have some, but dispite his thoughtfulness, I let him have it all.  We'll get the results next Tuesday. 

We had a quick lunch in the hospital cafeteria, then drove across the street to drop in at the doctor's office to check on a huge hematoma on Bill's stomach where I gave him a shot the other day.  They drew blood to check his platelets, and even though his count is low, it isn't too low.  We will have to go back in the morning if it continues to spread.  Let's pray that it doesn't.

The Model Is Coming Along Nicely

Bill had another fairly good day today and was able to get out by himself for a bit.  He also spent time working on his ship model.  That and the iPad are keeping him occupied.  Oh, he also did a couple loads of wash, too.  Now that's a good day!

Tomorrow we go to the hospital for another CT scan.  We're hoping that the results will be good this time and the chemo will have shrunk some tumors and kept the cancer from getting worse.  We'll have the results next Tuesday.

I didn't have a good day again.  However, I think I have a reason.  It takes me awhile to put 2 and 2 together, but I might have a "4".  Six months ago I began a medication for the pain in my hips due to the 2 herniated discs I have.  This nerve medication wrecked havoc on my emotions for months.  Several days ago I began the step down in discontinuing the medication.  My depression, tears and severe fatigue could be as a result of stopping this drug.  We'll see.  

On Being Transparent

The Thorndike Barnhart dictionary says that being transparent means *easily seen through or detected and *free from pretense or decit; frank.

My intention behind this blog is to keep everyone up-dated on Bill's progress and Sutton happenings.  It is not meant to be depressing.  Despite what we are going through, we have good days - great days in fact.  Most days my fingers fly over the key board and sharing isn't a problem.  Except for times like tonight when my tears have flowed more than usual during the day.  If you were to look into my eyes, you would easily see that something is not right.  In being transparent, I've had a very difficult day emotionally.  No particular reason.  I just have. 

Bill and I enjoyed a lunch out with very dear and "old" friends today.  Bill grew up with this family and we are so grateful for their friendship, love and support.  Bill had a fairly good physical day. 

Jon's been sick for a couple weeks and had to go back to the doctor this afternoon.  Plus, he lost a filling and ended up in the dentist's chair, too.  Yuck!  Jess had a great day since they went to the "big library" (Clinton Macomb) for today's outing.  She really likes it there. 

A Spoonful of Sugar ...

... makes the medicine go down.  And a bowlful of ice cream makes the words flow better.  Well, I had to have some reason to eat it, didn't I?  Especially at this time of night since we don't usually eat after dinner. 

Bill had another good day.  It can only be because of prayer that he's been doing so well when he really shouldn't.  Today's Day 11 and he didn't feel yucky until after dinner. Thank you to all who have prayed that the side effects would be minimal.  Several people have told us that this is what they have specifically prayed for.  Thank you, God, for answering these specific prayers.

Bill and Jon had a good day together.  They went out to eat then worked at church for awhile.  Jess had to have blood work done this morning, then we went shopping for her Girls Day Out day.  Her speech teacher came and brought us donuts and cider from Blake's Cider Mill.  We also had a visit from friends from church this afternoon.  A nice day.