Sunday

Bill's had a much better day today.  Still plastered to the couch, but feeling better.  Thanks for your prayers.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!

After all, it's still only February!  I am so tired of hearing people complain about the snowy weather.  Get a grip!  We live in Michigan.  Granted, we have had more snow than usual, but we still have at least a whole month of cold and snowy weather ahead of us.  And, maybe more.  I can recall snowstorms in April that closed schools.

Just look at the beauty of fresh falling snow, untouched snow on your lawn, or the breath of frost on otherwise ugly weeds.  I went outside tonight to take out the garbage and the snow was absolutely gorgeous.  It wasn't just a glob of snow, you could see individual flakes.  Awesome!  Our God is to be praised!  He is an awesome Creator!

I, for one, love my snowmen decorations (which are still up) and I really enjoy using my snowmen plates and snowflake goblets for meals.  So there!

On a more serious note, Bill has had a very hard day.  Extremely sick and fatigued.  Asleep all day and has been in bed for awhile.  Please pray that he'll get better each day, rather than getting worse until day 7 or so.  This round of chemo has been extremely hard on him. 

Funny Things

For some reason, Jess HATES it whenever anyone coughs.  When she hears a cough, she yells, "NO!"  Sometime during the night I heard Jon coughing.  (We have a monitor on Jess so I can hear quite a bit from the front of the house.)  The next thing I hear is "NO!"  I started laughing, which woke Bill up, then we were both laughing!

Jon went to visit Grandma on Wednesday when I was with Bill for chemo.  He spent quite awhile looking for her.  She wasn't in her room, not in OT, not in PT, not in the lunchroom.  Finally he went back to find her in her room.  She said, "I don't know where I've been, but I'm back!"

Not a good day for Bill.  Pretty sick.

Christmas 1956

I'm sure you get tired of reading about our everyday activities.  We go here, we go there, we did this, we did that.  Bill feels good, Bill feels bad.  I'm tired, I'm overwhelmed, I'm OK.  Something funny, something sad.  Good grief!  I'm even boring myself! 

Today was "just another day", so I thought I'd share with you a picture of 4-year-old me in December of 1956.  Cute, eh? 

P.S.  Bill had a bad day and the hiccups have returned with a vengence.

Chem #7 Completed

The RN was able to get blood right away from Bill's port, so we began earlier and was home by 4:30 p.m.   Bill's been asleep almost since we've been home.  It's hit hard again like last time.  The day went by pretty fast, thanks to two of our church friends who came and visited.

I'm very tired and a little depressed tonight.  It was an emotionally hard day in the infusion area.  We need to pray for and uplift all the men and women who work in areas like this.  They do an outstanding job of caring for each individual and situation, knowing that the end may be near for those they care for. 

Crabby Jessie

I sure hope the Vit D pills begin working sooner than soon, because I've just about had it with crabby Jessie upon waking up, duirng the day, and major breakdowns at night.  They are not only wearing on us, she's miserable.  I want my happy Jessie back.  She's been gone too long!  I miss her.

I had a nice lunch out with a friend, then we visited my mom for awhile.  Just as I got there the PT aide was there to wisk her away for a couple hours and I told her to come back - I wanted to spend time with my mom.  She wasn't happy, but I didn't care.  There is no set schedules for OT or PT so it is hard to plan a visit.  We visited for an hour before they came back.

We would appreciate your prayers for Bill as he has his next chemo treatment tomorrow. 

8" of New Snow

This morning before Jon went out to snowblow the two driveways and sidewalks, Bill measured the snow on the picnic table ... 8".  It's very pretty, but Jon was frozen when he came in. 

I kinda love days when you CAN'T go anywhere.  I would have much rather been reading a book, but I almost finished all the paperwork that's been piling up.  I know I sound like a broken record when it comes to paperwork, but I have alot of it to do.  I take care of all my mom's finances, ours, Jessie's and a friend's.  My desk only has one pile of papers on it and that won't take but a half hour tomorrow.  Yah Hoo!

Bill hasn't felt very well today, although he did dust the house, vacuum and did the wash.  I know he's not looking forward to Wednesday.  We would appreciate your prayers.

Jessie Went To Church !!!!

Before you get too excited, I better tell you that it wasn't at our church.  I took Jess to the Shelby Nursing Center so that we could attend their church service with Grandma.  There were about 20 residents plus Jess and I.  Jess did really well.  Just the right amount of people, and NO KIDS.  Quiet, too, as most residents slept!

The non-denominational service was nice, but I was disappointed that it wasn't relevant to the audience.  Instead of choruses and new songs, there should have been hymns.  The songs that they would have been familar with.  A little more pizzaz would have helped keep people awake, too.  Oh, well.  At least I was able to attend a church service with my mom and daughter.

Bill was quite tired today.  Took several naps.  Jon worked in his room all day and Jess watched You Tube videos most of the day.  I took a 3-hour nap (thanks to some pain medication) then worked on my mom's pictures. 

Three Generations

On October 2, 1955, one day after my 3rd birthday, I posed on the walkway leading up to our house on Mendota (in Detroit) with my Mom and my Grandma Taylor.  I don't remember that moment, but I do remember our house.  Later on my dad put railings around the posts and I spent many hours on that front porch playing.  It seemed like I was always outside.  Riding my bike, visiting the neighbors or playing with friends. 

Jessie loves to be outside, too.  She can't wait to swing again in her hammock.  Yesterday she said, "Snow all done?"  "No," I replied, "There's more snow coming soon!"  She was NOT happy.  I think her attitude reflects most of ours, too.  We're just so done with winter.  For some reason, it has seemed like it's lasted too long.

Jess and I had an unexpected Girl's Day Out, as Shannon wasn't able to come today because of illness.  I am thrilled because Jessie really seems like she enjoys my company and she likes to be on-the-go, too.  That's my girl!  We enjoyed ice cream time with Grandma today.  Yum!

A Beautiful But Blustery Day

Friday's are ususally grocery shopping day so Bill and I had the opportunity to get out for awhile.  If it wasn't for the very blustery wind, the day would have been perfect.  A perfect "spring" day.  I also "had" to go to Kohl's.  I know, I said I wasn't going there again, and I wasn't going to, but I received a Kohl's gift card for Christmas and it needed to be spent.  Knowing that winter isn't over, I bought a set of flannel sheets - they were a ridiculously low price, plus I had 20% off, which made it a perfect purchase.  Unfortunately, with a couple other items I purchased I received Kohl's bucks.  Now I "have" to go back next week, or give it to someone else!

Mom seemed to be doing well today.  FINALLY got a diagnosis on her foot which is still red and swollen.  Gout!  Hopefully, with the right medication, it will get much better soon.  Her good friend, Jane, and their mutual friend Dianne visited this afternoon.  Mom really appreciated that. 

My Mom's Memoirs

Several years ago I sat down with my mom and asked her to tell me about her life.  It took several months but I have a rough draft of bits and pieces of things she remembered.  I must get my love of photography from Mom because she has many photo albums and hundreds (maybe thousands) of pictures in bags and envelopes.  I'm trying to go through them all and put the pieces of her life together in print and picture.

Tonight I found a picture that was taken in April of 1910. The picture is of Albert and Annie Taylor and their three children: Alice, Hilda and Arthur (my mom's father, who was 12 years old in this picture).  They lived in Leeds, England, until they came to America in 1910. 

Back to 2011 ... my back is better today, thankfully!  Bill and I visited Mom earlier and watched her in PT.  She sure works hard with her exercises.  Jon got a physical for his new job and Jess and Shannon had "Shopping Day!"

My Daily Devotional

When Bill was first diagnosed with cancer, my friend, Chris J. gave me a 365-day devotional called "Jesus Calling"  "Enjoing Peace In His Presence", by Sarah Young (c2004).  It blessed me so much that I bought Bill a copy of his own, then when it became an iPad app, I downloaded it on our iPad.  It's amazing how each day speaks to me - to the things I am going through - my feelings - my thoughts.  It is written as if Jesus were talking to us, backed up by scripture.  I highly recommend it. 

Early this morning as I was cleaning up the kitchen, I bent over and apparently pulled a muscle in my back on the left side.  Oh, my!  Such pain.  I could hardly breathe.  It's been a challenge for me to even walk today.  I must say, I wasn't very happy about this. Since we had several things we had to do, I couldn't take a muscle relaxer and pain pill until 3:00 p.m. 

Anyway, part of today's devotional was ... "Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these very circumstances.  Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to Me."  (page 49)  Thank you, Jesus, for all the ways you speak to me each day.  You are so ever faithful!

My mom's cousins Carol and Curt came and visited Mom today and brought home made scones!  (They were delicious.  I just had to try one!)  It was nice visiting with them and catching up.  We are blessed to have family. 

CT Results

Well, today found us in the doctor's office getting results of Bill's CT scan.  The doctor said that there were no new tumors and some present ones have shown to either be slightly decreased in size or stable.  However, everything that was found in previous CT's are still there  After asking us many questions, and being that Bill seems to be generally well, he recommended two more rounds of chemo  This is very disappointing, as Bill thought he was done with the infusions.

The chemo that Bill is getting can be very toxic and hearing loss and kidney damage are two of the things that they need to watch for.   This is extremely disappointing to Bill (and us, too).  Only Bill knows how he truly feels for two weeks or more after an infusion, and this is something that he doesn't want to do, yet knows that he still needs to keep trying.  Please continue to pray for Bill during these next couple of months.  After the two chemo treatments, he'll have another PET scan.

I need to be honest here.  So many times well-meaning friends have told Bill that they've prayed and they know that he'll be healed and the CT results would show that the cancer was gone.  "Don't worry," they say.  "You'll be fine."  "I know you're healed."  This has happened so often that you almost begin to believe them and feel you're healed.  It is a great disappointment when you get a CT result as we did today.

Sometimes well-meaning people say they are praying and then give the results that they want for us, rather than taking into consideration the Will of God.  I believe that we are walking on dangerous ground when we give prophetic statements without having a 100% track record as a Prophet. 

We continue to trust God's plan for us.  We may not always like the road we are on, but we trust the One who walks with us on that road.  Please continue to encourage us as the days go on.  I have a choice ... I can either spend alot of time being overwhelmed with Bill's diagnosis and my mom's declining health and her future care, or I can continue to Praise His Name and ask Him for guidance, strength and hope every moment of each day.  Please ask the Holy Spirit to keep me strong and give Bill, Jon, and I peace. 

Congratulations, Jon !!!!!

As of March 1, we will no longer have an unemployed RN in the house.  His interview went well today (thanks for praying!) and he will be working in a Nursing Home.  He's excited, and we know that he will do very well.  It will be a bit of an adjustment, as he will be working three 12-hour shifts a week, 7:00 p.m. until 7:00 a.m.  It might work out for the best, as he has bad mornings. 

This is a picture of Jon being pinned by our friend, Roxanne, on December 18, 2009.  He passed his state boards last February. 

Jess and I had Girl's Day Out today.  We left at 9:15 a.m. and didn't get home until after 4:00 p.m.  We had a great time!  We started at the dentist, breakfast out, spent 3 hours with Grandma, Sam's Club, fed Meeko then came home.  Jess was great the entire day and was a hit at the Nursing Home with residents and staff. 

Bill had a nice lunch out with friend, Phil, then did 5 loads of wash! Yah!  All I have to do is hang them up. 

We're nervous about tomorrow.  However, we are confident that whatever the results of the CT scan, God will be with us in the future, just like He's been with us in the past.  May all the Glory go to Jesus!

A Frozen Husband

Poor, Willie!  Ever since he began chemo he's been very cold.  I mean, really cold.  He's got on warm clothes, using a rice heat pack and covered with quilts.  Sometimes he wears his hat, too.  He just can't seem to get warm.  Another chemo side effect, I guess.

I was able to go to church today!  It's been weeks!  It was nice being back.  I have missed it.  TV church is OK, but nothing can replace your home church.  Thanks, Jon, for watching Jess so Dad and I could attend together.

I had hoped to rest this afternoon, put up my feet and read.  Not.  We're having our Income Tax done on Wednesday, so Bill and I worked all afternoon and early evening getting stuff ready.  About 95% done.

Explaining "Nursing Home" to Jessie

Today was Girl's Day Out because Shannon gets one Saturday a month off and worked last Monday.  Around 1:00 we had lunch then headed to the nursing home to see Grandma.  I tried to explain to Jessie what a nursing home was, but I don't think she quite figured it out.  I told her that there were alot of old people in wheelchairs, just like the boys and girls in wheelchairs at Glen Peters School.  "Sick?" she wanted to know.  I tried to explain to her that not all people there were sick.  Some just couldn't take care of themselves anymore and they all lived together where people could help them.

Every day from 2:30 to 3:30 all residents and guests can go to the main eating area and get (free) ice cream.  Jess and I walked down there and brought it back to the room and ate with Grandma.  Every time she passed a resident in a wheelchair she hollared out "Sick!"  "Sick!"  "Sick!".  I'm not so sure they appreciated that.  Oh, well. 

Jessie's been in bed now for over an hour and just let out a loud scream.  She had a pillow and was racing down the hallway to our bedroom.  "Spider!" "Spider!"  Jon and I looked for one but it must have taken off.  There's no way she's sleeping in her room tonight, that's for sure.  Right now she's camped out on the couch in our room. 

Bill and Jon had a Boy's Day Out today, too!  They went to church and watched basketball games, went to lunch, hobby shop and the show.  They had a great time, Bill felt well, but it wiped him out.  He went to bed early.  Thank you, Jesus, for great family times!

More Vitamin D Needed

Several weeks ago I mentioned that Jessie has been very unhappy, yelling and crying alot.  We found that she has a Vitamin D deficiency and has taken 4 very strong prescription Vit. D pills so far.  She's gotten a bit better, but she sure needs more.  Tonight was just one of those nights.  In order to get her calmed down I had her sit with me on our bedroom couch until she fell asleep.  Tomorrow I'm taking her to see Mom.  Sure hope she doesn't start anything there, that's for sure!  Although a little excitement for the residents would liven things up a bit.

Yesterday when Mom was eating lunch she said that it would be better for her if she could see where she was and the people around her.  Then she picked her head up, "looked around" and said, "Well, maybe not!"  She still has a sense of humor.

Bill had a good physical day until around dinner when he didn't look well but said he was just tired.  Slept on the couch most of the night and to bed early. 

Mr. Mom

I am so grateful for my husband, "Mr. Mom".  When he is able he does what he can around the house.  Always has.  Today I was gone for most of the day again and he worked on income tax stuff and washed clothes.  He said he had a pretty good day - thank you, Jesus!  The side effects of the chemo are almost gone.  Some nausea and a metallic taste in his mouth lingers. 

I thought you'd like to see a picture of Mom.  She looks pretty good, doesn't she?  I visited today for almost 2 hours and left her so she could take a much-needed nap.  She said they don't leave her alone - she's always going somewhere. 

Unfortunately, being blind and having dementia doesn't help with her orientation.  She has a good attitude and will do what is asked of her, but she's very confused.  She appreciates the cards that have been sent to her.  She's also allowed visitors, so if you want to drop by, please do. 

Gone All Day Again

Bill had his CT scan this morning.  He tried to pay me to drink the contrast.  I told him I wasn't that desperate.  He downed the nasty stuff then had a sucker to try to get the metallic taste out of his mouth.  Breakfast after that then went and visited Mom, fed her cat, Rite Aid, cleaners and post office.  Poor Bill was so tired when he got home that he's spent the rest of the day and evening on the couch.

It's 8:52 p.m. and approaching 9:00 when I would talk to Mom each night.  She'd call me and say, "I'm getting ready to go to bed."  I miss talking to her on the phone. 

Pictures

It's been said that a picture is worth a thousand words.  This picture is one of my favorites from a couple Christmas' ago, and I know that I could describe it with more than a thousand words.  I absolutely love this moment in time with Grandma and Granddaughter.

When I visited Mom today she was taking a nap after PT.  She's speaking alot better than when she was in the hospital.  Not much else to report at this time. 

The county came by this morning and scraped our streets, as well as completely block our driveways with more than a foot of snow.  Snowblowing wasn't part of my agenda this morning, but we were trapped and I didn't have any other choice.  So, on with Bill's Carhardt's, my snowmobile boots and the rest of cold -weather paraphanalia.  Let me tell you, it was COLD!  It was also alot harder than I anticipated.  This wasn't fresh fluffy snow.  It was icy hard stuff.  I burned lots of calories, that's for sure.

Thanks to my freind Andrea who provided a meal for us tonight.  I was so grateful for the delicious dinner after being gone all day again. 

The Word King

Ever since we got the iPad, I've downloaded apps that I thought I'd enjoy or Bill might.  I think I'm going to stop doing that because whatever I download and show him, he becomes better at it than me!  Especially Bee Spelled.  He's getting so good at it that his high score is now in the 500,000's.  Then there's Word Aurora.  It's like solitaire but you use letters and make words.  He's moved the level of difficulty up so high I can't even begin the game.  Oh, well.  Guess I can't be best at everything!

I'm glad that Bill felt so well that he was able to be out with me all day.  One of our last stops of the day was Meijer's.  I didn't get to do weekly shopping last Friday and shopped today instead.  I've never shopped on a Monday before.  Interesting.  Not many people there. 

My mom was really tired when we visited this afternoon.  She had been given a shower, been down to PT, to lunch and finally was able to lay down when we got there, only to have them come for OT.  I told them to go away and come back later.  Tonight when Diane visited, Mom was in the dining area for sing-along time!  She wishes she could just go to bed and sleep. 

Thank you, Julie, for tracking me down yesterday and treating me to dinner. I really needed the break and visit.  Thanks, too, for the DELICIOUS chili you made and brought us tonight.  After being gone all day, it was a very welcomed meal.  Love you!

A Busy Sunday

I prefer our old Sunday's ... church, lunch, dishes, nap, read, dinner, rest, bed.  Will we ever have one of those again?

Jess, Bill and I watched John Hagee this morning.  Bill was going to go to church but wasn't well enough.  Jon went but came home very sick and spent the day with alot of lower stomach pain and throwing up.  Sure hope it's not the flu.  I do need a rest, but not that kind!  Bill doesn't need it either!

After soup and sandwiches for lunch, I went and fed Meeko (Mom's cat) then went and spent a couple of hours with her.  She was in OT when I got there.  Dressed, in a wheelchair, and VERY glad to see me.  She still isn't eating or drinking much.  Chris came and visited and Diane and Randie were there earlier, too. 

I haven't been inside a nursing home in 33 years.  Things have really changed, but it's still a sobering place to be. 

Trying To Catch Up

Since a week ago yesterday I haven't been able to do much of anything at home.  Bill and Jon have carried the home-front all week.  Today I didn't go to the nursing home to see mom.  Diane and Randie were there this afternoon.  Instead, I did paperwork, went to the bank and Bill and I went to Vince and Joe's.

We got caught in the snowstorm, too.  We've had at least 3-4".  So much for the snow flurries that was forecasted.  Snow flurries are predicted tomorrow, too.  Wonder how much we'll get?

I'm better today than last night.  Thanks for praying for us.  Sometimes it seems like I can't go on.  Life is just too overwhelming.  I'm glad God's mercies are new every morning!!!!!

Bill felt pretty good all day until dinner, then felt pretty sick.  He has a CT scan on Wednesday.

Friday's Move

Today my mom went from TBH to Shelby Nursing Home and did very well.  Thanks for your prayers for her move.  She knew where she was going and was OK with it. 

I can't say much more tonight, because I'm totally overwhelmed.  I can't think straight and when I think of the future, I get into trouble.  I need to go to bed. 

Difficult Decisions

Diane and I spent the day at the hospital with mom today.  She slept 95% of the time.  However, she seems to be stable in her kidney and heart functions.  I think I forgot to mention to everyone that mom did have a slight heart attack - most likely the cause of her fall. 

Because she is now "stable", she can no longer stay in the hospital.  To see if she will be able to gain any strength back, she is being moved to Shelby Nursing Center for OT and PT tomorrow.  Please pray that the move will hold the least amount of trauma for her. 

Bill's day today was better than yesterday.  I am so grateful that he understands my need to care for my mom at this time.  He is an awesome man, in case you all didn't know that!  Next Wednesday is his CT scan to see how these past 2 rounds of chemo has affected the cancer, and if the PET scan was accurate and the cancer is gone from all areas (except the esophogus). 

To say that we are all stressed out is to put it mildly.  However, I am trusting that God has a plan.  He loves my mom even more than I could ever love her.  He cares about mom.  He cares about me.  He cares about my family.  He cares.  I know that He will give us all the strength we need each day to face each day's challenges.  That is a promise!  I cling to those.

No Blizzard For Us

Well, I wonder if any weather man is ever right?  I'm sure we did get about 8-12" of snow, but where was the blizzard?  Jon and I went out late morning and used the snowblower and shovels to clear off our two porches and two driveways.  We left the van outside last night so we'd be ready with the generator if we lost power.  The snow on the van was absolutely beautiful.  It was light and fluffy and you could see the different shapes of many snowflakes.  We have an awesome God!

Neither Diane or I were able to get out and see our Mom today, but I've called many times and things are about the same.  She's sleeping almost all the time and when she's not, she's hallucinating.  I plan on being there early tomorrow morning and hope to catch the doctors when they come in and see what our plan is. 

Today was Day 7 - Peak Day - for Bill and he definitely didn't feel well.  Very sick and depressed.  Cabin fever, too.  Let's hope tomorrow will be better for him. 

We're Prepared For The Invasion

Invasion? What invasion?  Well, I felt like I have been preparing for days for an invasion.  I made sure there was enough food in the house, batteries, lights, candles (I could light the entire neighborhood with all that I have!).  Bill and Jon had to go out and buy a new generator because ours quit last August when the tornado went through my mom's area.  (We lose electricity often.)  The van is outside, the generator and the grill are in the garage ready to go.  Just in case.  Listening to everyone today at the hospital, it seemed like we were all waiting for the invasion of billions of fluffy white stuff and paralyzing wind and chilling temperatures.

I spent the day at the hospital with my mom.  Diane was able to take half a day off of work and we spent time with mom together.  It was very disheartening.  Mom was definitely not herself, and worse than yesterday.  She spent all day hallucinating.  The problem with her leg turns out to be cellulitis.  Not good.  I personally don't believe that Mom will get better.  Both my sister and I need your prayers.  This is a sad time.

It's been 33 years since my dad passed away.  He died on January 28, 1978 - right in the middle of the blizzard that some of you might remember.  It was so bad I-75 was closed in Michigan and Ohio.  I hope this one isn't as bad - I really want to get to the hospital on Thursday.