A Hard Day For Jessie

It was breakfast out with Kelly day, only Debbie has gone on vacation - again! So, just Jon, Jessie and I met Kelly. It worked out OK because we discussed our upcoming meetings. It didn't go OK with Jessie though. She's been getting louder in public and coughing and clearing her throat more. If anyone clears their throat, she clears hers - over and over again.

After breakfast we went to Home Depot, the post office, dropped Jon off at home, Hallmark store then Meijer's. She was OK in Meijer's until we were just ready to scan our groceries when a child somewhere began to cry. That did it. Panic attack. Crying. Loud. Scared. Clinging to me. It took me awhile to get her calmed down enough to scan the groceries.

We get in the car and she starts crying again - this time for her daddy. She keeps saying she wants her daddy back. She's been doing this for the past week or so. It's heart breaking. I sat down with her again yesterday and explained to her that daddy can't come back. When it's time to go be with Jesus, Heaven is too wonderful to come back. Our real home is in Heaven. (Not an easy concept for her to understand.) "Daddy big hug?" "Yes", I tell her. "Daddy will give you the biggest hug you've ever had when you get to Heaven." The picture is of Jessie loving on her dad as he is being tube fed July of 2011. She's not the only one who misses him.

I wanted us to go out to dinner tonight, but I wasn't sure how Jessie would be because of her being loud and clearing her throat or coughing. We decided to go to Younger's Tavern in Romeo because I figured it'd be loud and no one would hear her. We walked in and there were just a few people! Jessie looked cute, though. She was wearing her animal hat with the strings on both sides, carrying her Kindergarten word search book. She did pretty good. We got to sit in a corner by the front door and no one else was around us.

When we got home Jon and I watched a Pioneers documentary TV program in the living room and Jessie stayed in the family room, making NO noises at all. As soon as it was finished and I went back in the family room to the computer, she starts coughing and clearing her throat. This is soooo annoying.