Thursday and Friday

For whatever reason, the internet went down again on my computer when it was time to blog last night. I wasn't in the mood to blog, so it worked out well for me.

I decided this year to go all out and decorate like I used to. I felt it was time. This will be the 3rd Christmas without Bill. I've been decorating since Thanksgiving and I'm almost done. However, it hasn't had the good effect on me I thought it would. It's made me more depressed.

I've had the opportunity to go out to quite a few parties this year and visit friends that I haven't seen in a long time. It's been fun. But when I walk in the door after being out, I feel such a loss. I miss Bill alot. Christmas was his favorite time of the year. I'm really trying hard to stay positive and uplifted, especially for Jessie, but for some reason this year seems so empty.

All I ever wanted to be since I was 5 years old (my earliest recollection), was to be a wife and mother. God blessed me with both and I praise Him for that. I just thought it'd last longer than it did. Being a widow and single mother is tough. I know that I am doing very well and God has provided so much for me, it's just that some days in a year are harder than other days.

OK.  I'm done complaining. By the way, the picture is from Christmas of 2010.